I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that.
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was hopeless to be had.
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope,
And I believed for a moment that my chances,
Were approaching to be grabbed.
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear.
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag
I never realized that finding a place to call home would be so difficult. I mean, I am pretty easy to please. I have a list of “Must Haves” and a list of “Nice to Haves”. My ONLY “must haves” are a clear, southern exposure, permission to have my DIRECTV dish AND must allow dogs. There are only two things I refuse to give up in my life: DIRECTV and Sunny.
The “Nice to Haves” are a much longer list. I want a nice, big bath tub and a little yard for Sunny, a garage or covered dedicated parking spot. I’d like something that has quality upgrades: granite, stainless steel appliances, and nice tile or hardwood floors. I’d like to not have anyone above or below me, something that has a very nice, “home-y” feeling. Finding the perfect place for me is like the Supreme Court’s view on porn, “I can’t really describe it, but I know it when I see it”.
I have found a couple of places. The first one I found was perfect! It was in my price range, had ALL of my “must haves” AND all of the “nice to haves”. It had amenities I didn’t even know I wanted like free access to all the Highlands Ranch Rec Centers. Another renter beat me to it by two hours. TWO HOURS. I was heartbroken.
The next place I found was nice, too. The location we just too far from where I wanted to be and I just didn’t feel a “click” with it. I can’t quantify why I didn’t follow through other than it didn’t feel right.
I looked at a place on Thursday that I really liked. I had some issues with the location, but over all, it had many of the things I was looking for. I walked my application into the office on Friday with my application fee. I still have not heard back from them. I don’t know what the delay is. I know it’s not my credit or income…so basically this one has just not called me back.
I think that was the final metaphor before I realized how much house hunting was paralleling my “dating” life. I put “dating” in quotes because, quite frankly, I haven’t even made it far enough with a guy to plan a date.
For someone like me who is not really “actively” looking to meet Mr. Right, but…keeping my options open…I sure have had an inordinate amount of possibilities. One guy already has a “renter”. The other guy things just didn’t feel right with. And, finally, there is one I do like, but I haven’t heard from…so…I guess he got rented, too.
I am currently living in the home Scott and I built together. I remember the first time I walked out on my big, beautiful deck off my master bedroom and looked at the breathtaking view of the mountains. I was moved to tears because I had finally found the perfect house for me. I felt the same about the guy. Not a perfect guy or a perfect house, but perfect for me and now I am having to say, “goodbye” to both.
The verse at the top of the page reflects the hope I have been feeling lately. I struggle with what can sometimes be a very annoying, overly positive personality. I really believe I will find the right place and the right guy. I will never stop believing. I don’t think I can be convinced otherwise. I don’t want to become jaded, but at some point, hope has to run out, right? I don’t know if that will be a relief or disparaging. I guess when I start collecting cats; we will know I have reached the latter.
In the mean time, I’ll continue to look for the perfect place for me. Shit…maybe while I’m waiting the one I like will call me back. I’m willing to give that one a shot. The townhouse, I mean.
One last thought about the “perfect person” from my friend, Chris. He said, “You are never going to meet anyone without baggage. We all have baggage. You do, too. Just be sure to find someone with a matching set.” That’s some wisdom right there.